What I have learned
I think the first thing I have learned is how to, (and in some cases how not to), plan a year long development project. I have never planned a year long project before, and it was hard for me to know how much work I could fit in to a specified time. I’ve learned that in a long project there needs to be a certain amount of flexibility, because you just don’t know how life is going to affect your work over the course of a year. It was definitely an added challenge to try and get some of the filming parts of my project finished and packed away before estate agents were due.
I have learned that I need to allow more time than I think I need. Everything seemed to take a bit longer than I thought, and then I also needed to allow extra time for changes I found myself making along the way – such as animating characters instead of filming a straight video. I also think this is the nature of creativity, one experiment and learning curve can lead to another, and then another, and while it is important not to go off on a tangent, I think this project has left me with things I’d like to continue with further.
I have learned that, although I believe that creativity shouldn’t rely on fancy materials and equipment, and lack of those things certainly wouldn’t stop me or anyone else creating, when it comes to filming, it can be very frustrating without adequate lighting, or filming space. I don’t think it is a big deal, but it just feels noticeable. I didn’t feel like the quality of my filming was good enough to be used as stills for printed images, maybe a more professional camera, lighting and filming space, would have helped with this.
I realise now, that when you do a project like this, you end up wearing a lot of different hats, and you have to learn skills as you work, as they are needed. For example I hadn’t planned a workshop script before, or recorded a voice-over, or recorded multiple voices, or edited video and audio together. I’m not sure how well I did, but importantly, I didn’t know how to do it, but I did it anyway, and now I have something to build and improve upon.
I have remembered how important research and development is, in a world that seems to be driven by end-products. i have learned that it is okay to find the time to experiment, push and play.
I have learned how important planning projects is, even if I have to learn how to make them more flexible. When you have a long term project, it makes you focus, it stops you from being distracted by other creative pretty things, and it helps you to commit.
I have realised that I am more capable than I give myself credit for, and that I am passionate and enthusiastic, and willing to work hard, even if it means working wonky hours. I’ve remembered that I love learning, and that I can do things that make me feel uncomfortable.
It has also been a humbling experience, trying something new when you know you’re not going to be very good at it, when you see so many other people around you already producing slick, beautiful, amazing work. But I think that is a really important lesson for us to remember, especially those of us who are that bit older, that it is never too late to start learning something new, from scratch, and it doesn’t matter where other people are on their journey, the only journey that matters is the one that you are on.
What the funding means to me
This funding, that I discovered almost accidentally, and then threw myself into, means the world to me.
For the first few months it felt strange. After first being elated, I then found it hard to believe that I had the funds to buy materials and take part in courses and workshops. I was reluctant to spend it, in case there had been a mistake. I even felt a bit guilty, doubting that I deserved it.
Then I paused, had a think. I was awarded this money because somebody believed in my idea. And that realisation means as much to me as the funding itself. At a time in my life when I felt lost and hardly believed in myself, Arts Council England believed in me, and backed me.
In a practical way is has gifted me time and freedom. You often find yourself in a pattern of creating the same kinds of work, you become known for something, and it is scary to take the time out to try new creative things. Because we feel like our work has to become some kind of end product, we can stop experimenting because we don’t feel like we have the time for things to potentially “fail”. This funding gave me money towards that time, so the fear of something not being a success was removed. I remember working into the night on one occasion, I was filming things over my table, I was moving little bits around, moving back and forth to and from the table, music playing, having a little sing, having a little dance, and that is the freedom that funding can give to a creator - the freedom to create unburdened. That feeling is like nothing else, even though we might be creating on a daily basis, we don’t always feel that, and that is just one of the reasons I’m so grateful to Arts Council England.
It can sound a bit of a cliche to describe the funding as life-changing – but it really has changed to trajectory of my last year, and while I spent most of the year focussing on my project and other areas of my activity plan, over the last few months, as the project wound down it gave me the time to reflect and realise how grateful I am.
I am grateful for the opportunities; I have the funds to pay for materials and talks without worrying where the money is coming from. But, emotionally, I am also grateful for how it has changed me as a person, it has made me more confident. By making an activity plan and an expenditure plan, and having to stick to it, you find yourself doing all those things you always knew would help you, but you put off, because maybe they felt a bit intimidating, such as mentoring and portfolio reviews. I am now a person who will seek out mentoring instead of just thinking about it. This funding encourages you to take little leaps forward, and that does wonders for your self-esteem and your practice.
This funding is amazing, but it is about so much more than money, it is about creatives being valued and supported, and it has made me wonder how I can help support creatives, in my own way, in the future, to help pay forward the support I have received. It has changed me, by reminding me I’m not just on my own, I’m part of a larger community.
What I’d like to do next
Before this project I knew I was working towards being a children’s picture book author and illustrator, but since this project, my creative practice feels like it wants to branch out and be more than one thing. I still have the same goal, but I want to include more creative diversity into my practice. I want it to be about living a creative life, not just identifying in one specific role. I like all the different hats I have been wearing. I would like to continue developing workshops and small animations, I feel like I still have so much to learn, there is definitely room for improvement, but I can see my potential, and I would really love to continue to encourage people who avoid any kind of art, to embrace their creativity. I would also like to be able to support other creatives, like I have been supported. I would like to start by qualifying as an EFT practitioner. During the last year I have used EFT to try and help me through an emotionally difficult time, and it occurred to me how beneficial it would be to the creative community, to help others to work through some of their emotional needs. It very much feels like I’m about to embark on something new and exciting, and I am just so grateful for the push and the encouragement that the Develop Your Creative Practice programme has given me.
If anyone reading this is trying to make their way within the arts, and is based on the UK, please consider applying for the Develop Your Creative Practice rewards program. If you are telling yourself you aren’t ready, or that you aren’t worthy, or good enough, please just give it a go anyway, that extra money in your bank really does help push you forward in various ways – you just never know what your future holds – someone out there might see something in your work and they might believe in you, and they might back you, and while the money is amazing, that belief is priceless.
You can find more information at Arts Council England - DYCP